Ahh, the Pilot Episode that Got Played Last by Fox...
Wherein we meet Malcolm Reynolds and Zoe in Serenity Valley, discover how Simon Tam, River Tam, and Shepherd Book joined the crew, deal with a rogue lawman, a tricksy old lady who'd sooner shoot Mal than deal straight, cargo that don't wanna get delivered, and a persistent pack of hungry Reavers. The introduction to the 'verse.
Nominated for a Hugo Award in 2003 for Best Dramatic Presentation (Short Form); lost to the Buffy episode "Conversations with Dead People".
WASH: This is a Fertile land and we will thrive...
WASH: I'd say worth a little risk.
WASH: I can always say I was flying the ship by accident.
JAYNE: Captain, can you stop her from bein' cheerful, please?
ZOE: I know something ain't right.
WASH: Just a couple of days lying around, you with the bathing. Me with the watching you bathe.
MAL: And I'd like to be king of all Londinum and wear a shiny hat.
KAYLEE: Compression coil busts, we're drifting...
MAL: Well, maybe I'm not a fancy gentleman like you with your... very fine hat.
JAYNE: I don't understand why we didn't leave that sumbitch in a pool of his own blood.
JAYNE: Ten percent of nothing is -- let me do the math here -- nothing into nothing, carry the --
MAL: We got protein in all the colors of the rainbow.
MAL: Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that.
MAL: Been a long time since Patience shot me and that was due to a perfectly legitimate conflict of interest. I got no grudge.
MAL: If anyone gets nosy, just, you know... shoot 'em.
JAYNE: Little Kaylee here just wishes you was a gynecologist.
BOOK: brought you some supper, but if you'd prefer a lecture, I've a few very catchy ones prepped. Sin and hellfire... one has lepers.
MAL: This is not my best day ever.
SIMON: Can you move your feet? Kaylee. Stay with me. Can you move your feet?
MAL: This is over, you and me are gonna have a personal chat.
SIMON: I need to check her vitals.
WASH: Can we maybe vote on the whole murdering people issue?
MAL: Now you only gotta scare him.
JAYNE: Was gonna get me an ear, too.
ZOE: If they take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh and sew our skins into their clothing and if we're very very lucky, they'll do it in that order.
MAL: Gettin' awful crowded in my sky.
KAYLEE: You're nice, too.
INARA: I gave the boy a free thrust, since he's not long for this world.
SIMON: That man's psychotic.
MAL: Oh... I'm a bad man.
MAL: Well, we may not have parted on the best of terms. I realize certain words were exchanged. Also, certain... bullets.
MAL: I believe that woman's planning to shoot me again.
JAYNE: Here's a little concept I been workin' on. Why don't we shoot her first?
ZOE: Nice place for an ambush.
JAYNE: Testing. Testing, Captain, can you hear me?
ZOE: She still has the advantage over us.
MAL: Well, you were right about this being a bad idea.
WASH: If everybody could just be quiet a moment...
WASH: I don't mean to alarm anybody... but I think... we're being followed.
ZOE: Sir? I'd like you to take the helm, please. I need this man to tear all my clothes off.
RIVER: I didn't think you'd come for me.
MAL: How come you didn't turn on me, Jayne?
MAL: If I ever kill you, you'll be awake, you'll be facing me, and you'll be armed.
MAL: We're still flying.
MAL: What? The doctor! Oh. Hey! Is there, is there a reward?
"Your Mother!" or "His Mother!" (Mal, on learning of approaching Alliance ship.)
"Shut up." or "Shut your Mouth" (Mal, over comms, to Zoe & Jayne as they fret about Alliance ship.)
"Affirmative." "Yes"(Kaylee, to Wash about going to black.)
"Oh No, it's spoilt!", could also be "oh no, we're ruined" (Wash, as Alliance ship scans them.)
"Shut up." (Mal, to Wash as he banters with Jayne in cargo bay.)
"Watch your back." or "Be careful"(Wash, to Zoe as she & the others go off to meet Badger.)
"Come in." (Inara, to Book knocking on shuttle door.)
"Yo Mama! Everyone under the sky should die" (Mal, on learning there's a mole on board.)
"little sister" (Inara, addressing wounded Kaylee.)
"Everybody shut the hell up!" (Mal, as everyone argues about killing the Fed.)
"nuts" (Wash, meaning crazy, about flying without core containment.) #I honestly can't figure this one out
"little sister" (Mal, addressing Kaylee.)
Jerk! also "Bad Egg"(Jayne, referring to Patience's man.)
"We're finished." (Zoe, as Reaver ship approaches.)
"I'm sorry?" (Simon, response to Book's comment about Serenity's name not being a joke.)
For more information and a pronunciation guide, see the Firefly Chinese Pinyinary.
"Cry baby cry, make your mother sigh" is an actual song lyric from the Beatles.
This episode was broken in two parts for showing on the Sci-Fi Channel. The last scene before the split is when Mal first sees River and looks up and merely says "Huh".